5 Thoughts Wednesday| 5 Emotional Essentials Before Saying I do.

October 29, 2014

Wani Olatunde Nigerian Wedding photography

Wani Olatunde Photography

1. Stability

Marriage is a journey in and of itself. It has rivers, mountains, high grounds low ground, paradise’s and marsh land. Get the picture? If you are relying on it to bring the majority of your life’s stability….your wishing on sinking sand. Love is a deep felt feeling boosted by the blessing of heaven(if you choose someone who doesn’t confuse and annoy your guardian angels). Marriage like life has it’s up’s and downs. The great difference is that there is someone spiritually, traditionally, culturally and legally obligated to stand by your side. Cute.

2. Sources of Happiness or Treats.

He or she is bound to offend you. If you allow your relationship to dictate your happiness and joy? Forget having responsibilities, forget having a job and forget having impact on the world. We can’t all suffer because she left her make up smeared on the bathroom sink. The love of your life may inform your mood but should never control it and/or your actions. Strive for peace but walk in it regardless of circumstance.  So if he leaves you kill yourself? God forbid!

Do not prepare to solely rely on your future partner for treats and happy occasions. All these girls waiting to be wined and dined KMT. A Woman is treated like a queen but fully aware that she is married to a King. You will both wear a crown, make sure you are both prepare to polish them! Before he came along, did you not buy shoe and bag? My dear, he is here to sustain you by UPGRADING you. Mr, she is here to support you, not become your hot in house cash point. My brother, are you not ashamed?

Whether you intend to work or be a stay at home wife/husband ( which is also a respectable job and hard work).Make sure you are useful and productive. Only pets should smile, strut and bark for a weekly handout.

3. Support System

Accept that you become each other’s confidants but you both need advisors rooting for your marital success! If all else fails and no one listens to each other, do you have a designated peace maker? Please assign one, before your hot secretaries both male or female expand on their job descriptions at ungodly hours.

4. A Healthy Understanding of the Journey of Marriage.

It confuses me how many people will read reviews about honeymoon destinations but fail to pick up a book about marriage. You won’t talk to a Minister, you won’t talk to previously married couples, you won’t go to seminar, you won’t find out your love languages. Not that these things are a guarantee, but they are at the very least a foretaste. With close to half of marriages ending in divorce and you not having done your research? Are you like trying to become a statistic? Like seriously, major side eye. I suggest you avert your eyes from this screen and Amazon yourself a copy of ‘Married for Life’ by Stuart & Jill Briscoe. I refuse to be held responsible……

5. Be willing to accept the end of single days.

When you get married you are joined to the life of another person. Every decision needs to end with, would God be happy with this or how is this best serving my partnership? If she has to call the ends of the Earth or trawl Facebook to find your whereabouts? This is not ‘Lost’. You just failed on an epic scale. Yes Magaluf sounds like a great idea but, why chase drunken paradise with a memorable Heaven at home? Just a thought….

xo Chi xo


Beautiful! This is so very true – and so many people fail to see it. I myself am not perfect, but as much as I chase my career aspirations there is always the thought of my husband and our family to help inform my choices in life. Alex xxx

That is wonderful and I respect this even more because you are living this out! He is so lucky to have you!!

Absolutely love…by the way you should do a review on ‘Married for Life’.

Thank you so much! I love reading it so much, will deffo do a review when done. :-)

Add Your Comment